A. Greeting- Can I get A Show Open

B. Intro- Say Hi to Crew, Tease Show

C. Isiah Report

D. Texas News 4 U 2 Abuse Open

Ass killing protest…

http://www.statesman.com/news/texas-politics/protesters-clomp-to-capitol-to-oppose-states-feral-2109992.html

Then why we paying for these Asses?

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/120118-TXHoustonAdoptAHorse_50102415

Nobel horse get-a-way attempt!

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/120120-fugitive-arrested-on-horseback-in-montgomery-county

Butterfinger Cops!

http://www.kvue.com/news/local/APD-Officers-Suspended-for-Mis-handling-Weapons–137792308.html

Lightest murder sentence ever?

http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/crime/man-pleads-guilty-in-2002-boating-death

Maybe cedar fever will lessen this coke blow?

http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/top_stories/Williamson-County-Traffic-Stop-Nets-40-lb.-Cocaine-Bust20120118-ktbcw#axzz1jrJi5YW1

Local Facebook perv!

http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Austin-Man-Charged–for-Soliciting-Minors-on-Facebook-20120120-ktbcw#axzz1k7sQS0AK

Throw to OH HELL NAW Beatdown vid?

E. OH HELL NAW Open

Aggressive hungry Austrailian Sharks!

http://news.yahoo.com/3-shark-attacks-australia-less-3-weeks-065546618.html

Turtles have hunters eating by Crock!

http://news.yahoo.com/crocodile-swallows-indonesian-girl-004951851.html

Resurrected Monkey’s!

http://news.yahoo.com/monkey-long-believed-extinct-found-indonesia-052957776.html

Not a cat roast?

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_PHOENIX_SKINNED_CAT?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-01-19-22-59-04

Rare sea creator in Seattle!

http://news.yahoo.com/rare-sea-creature-appears-seattle-womans-dock-152011178.html

3 parent babies!

http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/scientists-babies-could-have-3-parents-dpgonc-20120120-sv_17226598#axzz1jzjTcuxC

Baby brains!

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/brains-of-40-dead-children-removed-kept-in-jars-in-uk-hospitals-ncxdc-011712

Mars Rocks!

http://news.yahoo.com/scientists-confirm-rocks-fell-mars-202130460.html

Smartest man alive! But he’s still a douche!

http://news.yahoo.com/man-married-girlfriend-her-funeral-070000004.html

Poor tattoo decision!

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/georgia-mom-arrested-for-allowing-10-year-old-to-get-tattoo/

Shit White Girls say to Black girls
video

F. Phartman’s Terrified Open

I’m scared of Theaters! http://news.yahoo.com/authorities-body-spent-days-theater-restroom-193525959.html

5 yr old pieces of trash scare me!

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/5-year-old-accused-of-stabbing-3-in-virginia-011712

I hate tampons!

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/tampon-used-for-arson-985412

This is why churches scare me!

http://www.live5news.com/story/16556880/church

Nothing scares me more than rat lungworms!

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2012/01/20/minn-man-contracts-rat-lungworm-disease-in-hawaii-2/

I hope that ghost doesn’t attack my wife!

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/ghost-blamed-for-domestic-assault-563819

Ohio Dad’s scare me!

http://news.yahoo.com/police-ohio-dad-tied-girl-put-her-dog-221651459.html

Close

GOODBYE

Phartman Report 007

Rundown

OPEN- GIMME DAMN SHOW (RUN OPEN OFF FC)

GREETING
INTRODUCE CREW
PLUG CONTACT PAGE
TEASE (OUTCUE: Right after these words from our sponsor)

Marriage Title Loans

TEXAS NEWS 4 YOU TO ABUSE (BACKGROUND)
Chief Art Aceveda brags about being a bully! http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/local/austin/acevedo-reflects-on-2011-looks-ahead
Chief demands more loot so officers won’t suck so hard! http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/local/austin/acevedo-pushing-for-safer-patrol-cars
APD has their New Years party secretly taped! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Man-Accuses-Two-APD-Officers-Of-Abuse-During-New-Year%27s-Arrest20120105-ktbcw-#axzz1igbcqjWv
1st APD murder of 2012. http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/home/APD-Arrests-Man-for-Mudering-Woman-Leaving-Body-in-Dumpster-20120105-ktbcw##axzz1izCbHBZP
Execution candidate on loose! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Victim-Says-Flasher%2C-Serial-Attacker-Is-Same-Man20120105-ktbcw#axzz1igbcqjWv
Crack train route thru Austin briefly interrupted: http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/APD-Arrests-Crack-Train-Operator-20120103-ktbcw#axzz1iVVLDR9x
Hiccup in Heroine supply… http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/top_stories/San-Marcos-Traffic-Stop-Leads-to-Heroin-Bust20120106-ktbcw#axzz1izCbHBZP
Look out Socialites! Perv on the loose… http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/news/Possible-Child-Predator-Spotted-in-Steiner-Ranch-20120106-ktbcw#axzz1igbcqjWv
Catchy headline of the Week! http://www.sanmarcosrecord.com/local/x191086456/Older-men-women-urged-to-watch-for-vision-problems

THROW TO BREAK – When tree Hugging goes wrong

Phartman’s hypnotic, hydroponic, symbolic chamber of mental fornication

PROLLY RIGHT

OH HELL NAW (BACKGROUND)

I missed the Quadrantid Meteor Shower http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/quadrantid-meteor-shower-2012-shooting-stars-wednesday-dawn/story?id=15279375#.Twx-9Ho3tkg
Pepsi isn’t bragging about the flesh eating excitotoxins they put in Mountain Dew? http://news.yahoo.com/pepsi-says-mountain-dew-dissolve-mouse-carcasses-213911576.html
Hybrid SHARKS! http://news.yahoo.com/world-first-hybrid-shark-found-off-australia-070347608.html
That cat didn’t survive 2 trips to the gas chamber? http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_CAT_SURVIVES_EUTHANASIA?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-01-03-18-10-40
That woman didn’t find her engagement ring there? http://news.yahoo.com/swedish-woman-finds-wedding-ring-16-years-carrot-133659884.html
THROW TO BREAK

Christian Side Hug

PHARTMAN’S TERRIFIED (USE ANNUNAKI BACKGROUND)
Begging Whale Sharks scare the life out of me! http://news.yahoo.com/begging-whale-sharks-stir-debate-philippines-004208303.html
Delicacies scare me! http://news.yahoo.com/police-think-poisoned-cat-meat-killed-china-tycoon-040529940.html
Psychosis scares me! http://news.yahoo.com/marijuana-may-drive-brain-psychosis-144302935.html
Researchers prove fat women are demented! http://news.yahoo.com/hormone-women-linked-dementia-study-finds-210409422.html
Time cloaks scare my ass! http://news.yahoo.com/now-see-now-dont-time-cloak-created-184955175.html
Ohian triggered quakes petrify my ass! http://news.yahoo.com/expert-wastewater-well-ohio-triggered-quakes-234501529.html
GOODBYE

A. OPEN- GIMME DAMN SHOW (RUN OPEN OFF FC)
• GREETING
• INTRODUCE CREW
• PLUG CONTACT PAGE
• TEASE (OUTCUE: Right after these words from our sponsor)
Bubb Rubb
B. TEXAS NEWS 4 YOU TO ABUSE (BACKGROUND)
• Don’t be stupid! You Hurd! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/sports/chicago-bears-sam-hurd-facing-federal-drug-charges-cocaine-marijuana-distribution-201112151324002591915
• Feral swine on the loose keep me up at night! http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Feral-Hogs-Escape-Meat-Processing-Plant-135434033.html
• Jonestown gets scammed by city councilmen! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/news/Fallout-Over-Jonestown-Windmill-Scam-20111216-ktbcw#axzz1h13TU9AR
• If this guy pulls you over, YOU”RE SCREWED! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/DWI-Cop-On-Mission-to-End-Drunk-Driving20111215-ktbcw#axzz1guuu2P8M
• Pick up your DAMN decorations http://www.kvue.com/home/Christmas-trees-on-Loop-360-134502728.html
• Pantless AR15 carrier http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/Pantsless-Man-Arrested-with-Gun-121611
THROW TO BREAK
Phartman’s hypnotic, hydroponic, symbolic chamber of mental fornication
PROLLY RIGHT
C. OH HELL NAW (BACKGROUND)
• You got what trapped in your ass? http://news.yahoo.com/patients-bottles-cell-phones-buzz-lightyear-stuck-inside-213017469.html
• That’s not his families Christmas card photo? http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/mayor-bizarre-family-christmas-photo-goes-viral-165229261.html
• She isn’t THAT small? http://news.yahoo.com/worlds-shortest-woman-wants-bollywood-star-105024752.html;_ylt=AqP.R43cMUsR9S7_dsEVc_ms0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqa2NlcmpkBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnA2IyNjMwMmZjLTI2ZDItMzQ2Zi04MjJiLWI0NTU1YmVjMTZjMwRwb3MDNgRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgNmNTU0MzExZS0yN2YyLTExZTEtOGNiZi03OGU3ZDE1ZDRjZjQ-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3
• Not a death defying comet! http://news.yahoo.com/comet-defies-death-brushes-sun-lives-151858543.html
• Another idiotic baby jesus theft! http://www.wtop.com/?nid=120&sid=2672758
• Flying pot pelts! http://news.yahoo.com/marijuana-flung-car-pelts-oregon-trooper-194047223.html
• THROW TO BREAK
The Galaxy
D. PHARTMAN’S TERRIFIED (USE ANNUNAKI BACKGROUND)
• Applestorms scare me to death! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/unexplained-shower-apples-falls-sky-over-town-221921738.html;_ylt=Amve1snb6lpAeT4XrybwVESs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqaXZxNzdtBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzgyMTk5OWVhLTdmODktMzVhZC1iMGVkLWJlZDljNzU2MDU2NQRwb3MDNARzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgNkOWNhYWFhMC0yNzZhLTExZTEtYmU1ZC0yZGM1Y2RkMDhjODY-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3
• A neti pot will kill my ass this cedar season! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2074957/Deaths-brain-eating-amoeba-linked-sinus-remedy-colds.html
• Crackheads will deplete us of the brass family! http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2011/12/12/rash-of-unsolved-tuba-thefts-plagues-southland-high-schools/
• For the love of God particles! I’m horrified! http://news.yahoo.com/long-sought-god-particle-cornered-scientists-140202981.html
• Rabid women frighten me! http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/17/us-rabies-idUSTRE7BG01T20111217?feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=22&sp=true
E. GOODBYE

A. OPEN- GIMME DAMN SHOW (RUN OPEN OFF FC)
• GREETING
• INTRODUCE CREW
• PLUG CONTACT PAGE
• TEASE (OUTCUE: Right after these words from our sponsor)
Bubb Rubb
B. TEXAS NEWS 4 YOU TO ABUSE (BACKGROUND)
• Everyone sucks in this situation! http://news.yahoo.com/girl-posted-facebook-during-7-hour-welfare-office-210445255.html
• More proof our judicial system sucks ass! http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/111208-TXJailed-During-Crime_33316016
• Bee Caves solution to the drug problem! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Planet-K-Mural-Battle-Takes-Unexpected-Turn20111206-ktbcw#axzz1fymlBlhR
• Another propeller horror story! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/Plano-Woman-Lauren-Scruggs-Hit-by-Plane-Propeller-120511
THROW TO BREAK
Phartman’s hypnotic, hydroponic, symbolic chamber of mental fornication
PROLLY RIGHT
C. OH HELL NAW (BACKGROUND)
• NOT A SWEETSPOT IN THE GOLDIELOCKS ZONE? http://news.yahoo.com/planet-sweet-spot-goldilocks-zone-life-223007926.html
• Avocado Asteroids? http://www.newsday.com/news/new-views-of-giant-asteroid-vesta-revealed-1.3368518
• Monster black holes? http://news.yahoo.com/scientists-monster-black-holes-biggest-yet-162552569.html
• I can’t believe there is video of a cloaked spacecraft orbiting Mercury! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/mysterious-planet-sized-object-spotted-near-mercury-154443870.html;_ylt=Ahs1JzWZzbDQN_FVf4WmIoSs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqbzViNGQxBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzYzZmMzZTI2LTQ3ODktM2IxYS05MTlmLTdjODA2YjQ5MTFjMARwb3MDMQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgM2NDJkNDRmMC0yMGVhLTExZTEtYjdiNS03ZmMwYzZhODYzNGQ-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3
• I didn’t miss the lunar eclipse Saturday morning did I? http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/full-lunar-eclipse-happening-early-saturday-morning-dpgapx-20111209-fc_16314371#axzz1gF8OtZ8X
• Not lost SPACE ROCKS? http://news.yahoo.com/misplaced-stuff-nasa-loses-moon-space-rocks-202941230.html
• That dog didn’t save those damn kittens? http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57337836/kittens-discarded-in-cat-food-bag-rescued-by-dog/
• There’s no such thing as a 26 toed cat! http://news.yahoo.com/cats-26-toes-help-boost-milwaukee-animal-shelter-080754594.html
• Those are not photos of twin bobcats hunting in someone’s backyard in Frisco! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/Mom-Takes-Amazing-Photos-of-Bobcats-Frolicking-in-Frisco-120811
• THROW TO BREAK
Crilley Vid/PHRANK OF THE WEEK/SWORDFISH ATTACK
D. PHARTMAN’S TERRIFIED (USE ANNUNAKI BACKGROUND)
• Woolly Mammoths Scare the HELL out of me! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/scientific-discovery-may-lead-woolly-mammoths-roaming-earth-162955149.html
• Chilean glaciers give me the chills! http://news.yahoo.com/rapid-retreat-chile-glacier-captured-images-201458053.html
• I’m frightened by penis pumps alright! http://news.heartland.org/newspaper-article/2011/12/06/quarter-billion-taxpayer-dollars-spent-penis-pumps
• Another Wal-Mart horror story: http://www.fox23.com/news/local/story/Woman-caught-making-meth-inside-S-Tulsa-Walmart/Rgu31vt1m0me-p0WwKsN_w.cspx
• Ass injections are such a pain! http://news.yahoo.com/nc-woman-charged-buttocks-injections-gone-bad-184229702.html;_ylt=Amk.GzzHNDLwbZgx.T95vSys0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTN2NzdoZGc4BG1pdANPZGQgRnJvbnQgUGFnZQRwa2cDZTdiZjY3ZDAtZDgxZC0zYTQ3LWExOTItMjExM2MxNWIzOGZjBHBvcwM1BHNlYwNNZWRpYVNlY3Rpb25MaXN0BHZlcgNmNjJmNmY0MC0yMWQ1LTExZTEtOTBmZi0xZDY0MGYzNGVhMzg-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3 Links to cool before and after buttock augmentation pics: http://www.realself.com/blog/3-reasons-silicone-butt-injections
• My friend will kill me and then hide my body under Christmas presents under the tree! http://charlotte.cbslocal.com/2011/12/05/woman-accused-of-leaving-dead-friends-body-under-christmas-presents/
• Crosswalks petrify me! http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpps/news/bystanders-lift-suv-off-man-in-wheelchair-hit-at-crosswalk-dpgonc-20111209-fc_16312927#axzz1gF8OtZ8X
E. GOODBYE

A. OPEN- GIMME DAMN SHOW (RUN OPEN OFF FC)
• GREETING
• INTRODUCE CREW
• PLUG CONTACT PAGE
• TEASE (OUTCUE: Right after these words from our sponsor)
Bubb Rubb
B. TEXAS NEWS 4 YOU TO ABUSE (BACKGROUND)
• Cedar Fever is getting insane: http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Horseshoe-Bay-to-Eliminate-Cedar-Trees20111129-ktbcw#axzz1f9TZ6VuK
• Who turned the lights out? http://weareaustin.com/fulltext/?nxd_id=199307
• Turn that frown upside down! http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/North-Texas-City-Among-%27Happiest%27%2C-Magazine-Says
The methy’s are pissed now! http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/crime/fake-compartment-yields-1m-meth-bust
• More sex toy violence. http://www.statesman.com/news/local/man-accused-of-burning-wife-with-iron-claims-2005352.html?cxtype=ynews_rss
• Another bath salt horror story: http://www.myfoxaustin.com/dpp/video/Woman-Found-in-Ductwork-had-MDPV-in-Her-System20111130-ktbcw#axzz1fKCfiIm4
THROW TO BREAK
Phartman’s hypnotic, hydroponic, symbolic chamber of mental fornication
PROLLY RIGHT
C. OH HELL NAW (BACKGROUND)
• That ex-sheriff isn’t chillin in a prison named after him? http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-111201sheriff,0,817166.story
• Space medal didn’t crash into that furniture store! http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/12/01/mysterious-debris-crashes-through-plymouth-warehouse-roof/
• Zebra’s are not on the loose in Virginia: http://news.yahoo.com/zebras-loose-va-zoo-roam-neighborhood-230354406.html
• Dude didn’t accidentally give his life savings to “GoodWill” http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-accidentally-gives-away-life-savings-hidden-away-165333331.html
• Why the hell can’t I be this lucky!!! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/atlanta-man-wins-1-million-lottery-second-time-200547028.html
• THROW TO BREAK
Crilley Vid/PHRANK OF THE WEEK/SWORDFISH ATTACK
D. PHARTMAN’S TERRIFIED (USE ANNUNAKI BACKGROUND)
• Gas mask vest wearing joggers scare me! http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-news/ci_19440928
• Haiku’s frighten me to death! http://news.yahoo.com/nyc-uses-haiku-promote-street-safety-message-182622999.html
• This is why I don’t have a dog: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-accidentally-shot-own-dog-221644169.html
• Horse Meat keeps me up a night: http://news.yahoo.com/horses-could-soon-slaughtered-meat-us-080907323.html
• I fear this every time I leave the house? http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/11/28/sonoma-co-police-say-burglary-suspect-made-himself-at-home/
• I’m scared of moonshine in my water supply! http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/11/29/groton-town-worker-accused-of-using-water-plant-to-make-moonshine/

E. GOODBYE